Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Christmas Crackers

It's not even December yet, but newspaper columnists are already idly wondering what their favourite celebrities might be doing over the festive period. In a piece that's equal parts nasty and silly, and thus heartily getting the Parallax View seal of approval, Caitlin Moran sprouts up to play The Ghost Of Christmas Future to erstwhile Babyshambles singer Pete Doherty -

And where is Doherty going to go for the big day? His mother wrote a warts and all book about him this year, so I guess home isn’t an option. Moss is presumably going to be with her daughter and her daughter’s father, which leaves Doherty with — well, scanning his social circle, it appears to leave Doherty spending Christmas Day with the resonantly named “Wolfman”, with whom he recorded the No 2 hit For Lovers. Wolfman doesn’t look like the type to deck the halls with boughs of holly. Wolfman doesn’t look as though he’s been down to Iceland, getting 2-4-1 on mini sausage rolls. To be honest, Wolfman looks the type who is likely to serve up a tin of HP “Full Monty” baked beans for Christmas dinner, before throwing an interior door on the fire, then smoking a fag. I guess this is one of the problems with being a freelance troubadour and opiated visionary — you just don’t know anyone who can make gravy.

And...Fluff snuffed. RIP and respect due.


Anonymous graybo said...

I note that Brighton and Hove Albion have been drawn away against West Ham in the next round of the FA Cup. As the Seagulls are a form team at the moment and given what happened the last time we played the Hammers at Upton Park, I wonder if you have any predictions for the result?

8:13 PM  
Blogger Dead Kenny said...

Well, Groovy G, you note correctly, and I also detect a tone of confidence in your swaggering prose. Dead Kenny normally avoids predictions when it comes to his beloved Hammers but at your insistence he has scratched his chin ruefully and come to the conclusion the boys in claret and blue will romp home 1-0.

We'll no doubt be hearing from you if our prediction proves lacking in accuracy...

11:02 PM  
Anonymous graybo said...

Nah, there'll be more goals than that. I predict that there will be three goals in the match and that the result will be 2-1. I predict that Brighton will score first, but that the Hammers will equalize by half time. The winning goal will depend upon which team has a player sent off, as I predict that there shall be high tempers.

I wonder what odds I could get on that?

4:34 PM  

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