Pattern Recognition
Well, it looks like Michael Carrick is finally off to Spurs, the last of the talented young stars of West Ham's Premiership squad (the milky bar kids to Real's galacticos, as it were) to be shifted. MC was the sort of player we needed to cling onto in the Prem, but in the rigours of the Coca-Cola Championship he was about as useful as contemporary military intelligence. An injury-prone midfielder with no end product, White Hart Lame was his natural destination, I'm afraid.
The Hammers don't seem to be doing too badly without him so far, with a 3-2 away victory at Crewe pushing us back up amongst the promotion contenders, despite a very patched-up defence in which young right-back Trent McLenahan made his debut. And I always said that nice young gent Edward Sheringham Esq. could play a bit.
Congratulations are also due to the England cricket team for completing a 4-0 test match trouncing of a talented but brittle West Indies side. Britain has also unearthed a new athletics star with Kelly Sotherton winning a bronze medal in the heptathlon. Sad to see Denise Lewis miserably failing to comp(l)ete though, just four years after her dazzling gold medal triumph in Sydney.
Meanwhile, Leicester's logocops have apparently established that soccer hooligans are a bit partial to the old 'designer gear' and patrons wearing certain brands are to be barred from pubs such as 'The Parody' (I'm not making this up, honest). Mind you, I should imagine the only 'faces' still wearing Burberry, Aquascutum, Stone Island and Rockport are 'red' ones, quite frankly. If you're wondering what the local MP Keith Vaz has to say about this, I have no idea, but I know an online stalker who might be able to hazard a guess.
Still, if all this sport and violence is making you feel a bit queasy, let's pop in on the modern art scene and see what Tracey Emin is up to at the moment:-
"I get up at 7am and make a pot of tea, feed the cat and then write letters and things while I watch The Bill on UKTV Gold.
"I love spotting all the stars from the other soaps who've crept in."
Good grief. Someone get this woman a weblog. A bit more interesting are David Hogsholt's award-winning photographs of Copenhagen working girls (safe-ish for work, I think).
I'm not sure if this article is meant to be funny but I roared all the way through.
Telling you about the honey: Yummy! is a 22-year-old maths geek who may be Vietnamese but she ain't no pot-bellied pig.
Finally, if you're ambling home in a drunken fashion later tonight (as is a popular pastime, I understand, amongst some Parallax View readers) and you become aware of a crazed hammer-carrying loon in your peripheral vision: run like fuck, you idiots!
Well, it looks like Michael Carrick is finally off to Spurs, the last of the talented young stars of West Ham's Premiership squad (the milky bar kids to Real's galacticos, as it were) to be shifted. MC was the sort of player we needed to cling onto in the Prem, but in the rigours of the Coca-Cola Championship he was about as useful as contemporary military intelligence. An injury-prone midfielder with no end product, White Hart Lame was his natural destination, I'm afraid.
The Hammers don't seem to be doing too badly without him so far, with a 3-2 away victory at Crewe pushing us back up amongst the promotion contenders, despite a very patched-up defence in which young right-back Trent McLenahan made his debut. And I always said that nice young gent Edward Sheringham Esq. could play a bit.
Congratulations are also due to the England cricket team for completing a 4-0 test match trouncing of a talented but brittle West Indies side. Britain has also unearthed a new athletics star with Kelly Sotherton winning a bronze medal in the heptathlon. Sad to see Denise Lewis miserably failing to comp(l)ete though, just four years after her dazzling gold medal triumph in Sydney.
Meanwhile, Leicester's logocops have apparently established that soccer hooligans are a bit partial to the old 'designer gear' and patrons wearing certain brands are to be barred from pubs such as 'The Parody' (I'm not making this up, honest). Mind you, I should imagine the only 'faces' still wearing Burberry, Aquascutum, Stone Island and Rockport are 'red' ones, quite frankly. If you're wondering what the local MP Keith Vaz has to say about this, I have no idea, but I know an online stalker who might be able to hazard a guess.
Still, if all this sport and violence is making you feel a bit queasy, let's pop in on the modern art scene and see what Tracey Emin is up to at the moment:-
"I get up at 7am and make a pot of tea, feed the cat and then write letters and things while I watch The Bill on UKTV Gold.
"I love spotting all the stars from the other soaps who've crept in."
Good grief. Someone get this woman a weblog. A bit more interesting are David Hogsholt's award-winning photographs of Copenhagen working girls (safe-ish for work, I think).
I'm not sure if this article is meant to be funny but I roared all the way through.
Telling you about the honey: Yummy! is a 22-year-old maths geek who may be Vietnamese but she ain't no pot-bellied pig.
Finally, if you're ambling home in a drunken fashion later tonight (as is a popular pastime, I understand, amongst some Parallax View readers) and you become aware of a crazed hammer-carrying loon in your peripheral vision: run like fuck, you idiots!
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