Thursday, August 26, 2004

Polly's Bust Breaks CoverWhite Ladders! Don't Do It!

Hmm. Busy, busy, busy, doing things like checking for cut-price submarines (any colour but yellow, obviously) from Ebay in readiness for Reading's 3-D aquarium experience. And remember, pop kids, Dogs Die In Flooded Cars too. So...it's just as well some bloggers are earning their keep by spoon-feeding me the best links EVAH and Nath's coming up with the goods better than Kelis on heat these days, as she unearths what is reputedly the LiveJournal of Julian Casablancas' girlfriend. Sample quote: 'I smell like pot and sex. Fucking DELICIOUS.' This is currently THE best site on the internet to see Julian drinking cans of shit lager and smoking, and pictures of Albert Hammond Jr's smelly old Converse trainers. Some say this is what the internet's made for, others contend that Julian should have stuck with Regina Spektor (we'd have built a statue for THEM). Hell, even Courtney Love would have been classier, don't you think?

But if JC's squeeze needs some guidance on how to wear crap clothes and still look uberfoxy, she need look no further than PJ Harvey who's on the cover of this month's Bust, the magazine for women with something to get off their chests (see pic above left). And every girl with a Bust needs support from time to time, and on this autumn's UK tour, PJ will be served by kNIFE & fORK (via PJ Harvey News Aggregator). They're a new band to me, but are apparently the brainchild of Eric Drew Feldman, who's played with Captain Beefheart; Pere Ubu; The Pixies and Charlotte Hatherley amongst others. Collaborator Laurie Hall previously played with San Francisco underground band Ovarian Trolley. PV is currently undecided as to whether this is the best or worst band name ever! kNIFE & fORK sound interesting but a little uncommercial, but if they're not quite cut out for chart action, they could always earn their just desserts by forming a supergroup with Spoon, eh?

It's been said that after the Lethal Weapon films, Danny Glover couldn't get arrested, but that's proving not to be the case as the outspoken thespian has been apprehended following a seemingly peaceful protest over Sudan's humanitarian crisis. Ha ha, what a fucking idiot: doesn't he know that the way to protest about a foreign country is just to go over there and bomb the fuckers, and to hell with the United Nations? Has this sucker not been paying any attention to modern history lessons? I fully agree that this guy should never be allowed to walk the streets again until he's learnt the error of his ways, or at the very least he gives a public apology for Gone Fishin'...

Taking his cue from Charlton fan Inspector Sands' All Quiet On The Eastern Front, Ben has started a collaborative blog to contain his in-depth soul-searching about Newcastle United, called Black And White And Read All Over. I can understand his reasons for doing so, but I won't be doing anything similar with my West Ham witterings, partly because Upton Lark is doing such a fine job without me, and also because supporting the Hammers is such an integral part of the full Dead Kenny experience, it would be like hacking off one of my limbs, and quite frankly I'm rather (thankfully) attached to them.

Elsewhere...

Now you can safely go down to the pub and still keep track of your bird.

Bob Dylan to reveal all this autumn. No, no, no, don't run away! Calm down, it's only an autobiography.

Dan Petrie RIP. The film director, best known for A Raisin In The Sun (1961) and the even fruitier adaptation of Harold Robbins' The Betsy (1978) which featured an ageing Larry Olivier in an alarmingly graphic sex sequence, died of cancer aged 83.

The RBOT virus is targeting webcams. If you're not using your webcam, switch off and unplug is the advice being given out, as the virus apparently allows hackers to activate your webcam remotely and spy on you. You know, honest to goodness, I was a good looking boy, I tells ya, 'til those darned worms infested my webcam and I became known as Britain's Ugliest Blogger (TM).

Scientists Vote Blade Runner As The Best Sci-Fi Film Of All Time. Dr Stephen Minger (yeah, that's right, Dr Minger, Britain's ugliest stem cell biologist, perchance?) and friends can talk all they want about the Voigt-Kampf empathy test, but we know it was Daryl Hannah in that catsuit, gymnastically getting Harrison Ford's head between her legs that really swung it for them.

Talking about gymnasts, I'm not sure how South African Stephanie Sadler got on in the Olympics, but on studying this picture we think she has an interesting future ahead of her (pic safe for work, but you may lose productive time considering the inherent possibilities).

If you have no interest in exploring the hidden world of Atlantis at the Reading Festival this weekend, you may want to consider the drier experience of the 40th Notting Hill Festival - all you need to know apparently can be found on this 1Extra microsite.

And finally...the V Festival stripper revealed (small pic, but nice angle, NOT SAFE FOR WORK). Sadly, the only topless women likely to make a splash at Reading this weekend will be mermaids. And, on that note...

FIN (enfin)

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