Et Tu, Uglius Brutious?

Of course, I always said that Iain Dowie was a big, useless lump. Come to think of it, the best goal he ever scored for us in his Upton Park playing days was an own goal that knocked us out of the League Cup, so perhaps he was just a double agent from way back then. And, in the words of The Streets, it was supposed to be so easy. Just turn up, kick the ball around a bit, notch a few goals, pick up a few Arsenal rejects, then collect £20m on the way to the Premiership in August.

But of course it didn't happen like that, and unfortunately for us, that £20m isn't going to show up (CONCEPT ALBUM SPOILER AHEAD! LOOK AWAY, LOOK AWAY NOW!) down the back of the TV set in the team coach on the journey back to East London. Unless Pards was feeling lucky and got a winning lottery ticket for tonight's bonanza payout, it's bye bye Carrick, Lomas, Repka, Dailly, Brevett and Hutchison as we further scythe down our wage bill. We might even be lucky to ward off offers to poach our better new players like Etherington, Connolly and Harewood. Next season, six-pointer relegation scraps with Leeds United beckon, I reckon.

And of course, it's entirely sour grapes that has me suggest all three clubs promoted in our place (Norwich, WBA and Palace) are favourites to come straight back down (surely only Kevin Keegan's dismal mismanagement of Manchester City can intervene?) but nevertheless it's a fact. Still, things could be worse, as my hometown club Telford United have gone into liquidation just a few months after reaching the 4th Round of the FA Cup, and have lost their Conference status as a result. The Supporters Trust have formed AFC Telford United, although at what level they will be competing next season is still be established...