Went to see Burton-on-Trent's finest The Telescopes upstairs at the Wolverhampton Varsity last night. Not exactly the best publicised gig of all time - apart from a few A4 posters up inside the pub it's probably no great exaggeration to say all the band did was ring round a few mates.
But then, aside from the fact they put out some rather fine records now and then, there's an air of shambolic amateurism that hangs over this most infuriating of bands. A Telescopes gig is a hit-and-miss affair at the best of times but last night's fiasco hit an all-time low.
Having released their first new album for ten years with 2002's excellent Third Wave here was an ideal opportunity to build on this resurgence of interest with a storming live showcase of their spangly new tunes.
Instead, we got a bare 20-25 minutes of half-baked indolence which included a long, woozy electronic rendition of 'Perfect Needle', a couple of other tunes plus lots of moaning about the sound equipment.
I don't think I've ever seen a Telescopes gig where they don't spend a lot of time sulking about technical problems, and it always seems to be somebody else's fault rather than their own. Making the best of a bad job just seems to be too much trouble for them. Possibly if they did more than one gig once every blue moon they might start to put things right.
There are certain gigs where a short set length could be expected - a hungry young band packing all their energy into ten or so fast and furious rock songs for example. But not even their staunchest ally could accuse The Telescopes of exactly exerting themselves during their static knob-twiddling. I'd call their attitude on the night half-arsed but that would be an insult to the entertaining properties of one buttock.
But given the fact that off and on The Telescopes have alternately thrilled and irritated us for some fifteen years, it's a little too late to expect them to change and adopt anything remotely resembling a professional approach to live performances now. As much as they deserve a rocket up their collective arses, they'd probably just carefully remove and tinker with it while expecting the world to entertain themselves in the process.
If only they'd listen I'd offer them the advice to seriously think about their approach to live performances before expecting punters to shell out money for the privelige of watching their petulant pooterings again. Any more shows like last night's and even their closest friends will think twice about returning their calls.
But then, aside from the fact they put out some rather fine records now and then, there's an air of shambolic amateurism that hangs over this most infuriating of bands. A Telescopes gig is a hit-and-miss affair at the best of times but last night's fiasco hit an all-time low.
Having released their first new album for ten years with 2002's excellent Third Wave here was an ideal opportunity to build on this resurgence of interest with a storming live showcase of their spangly new tunes.
Instead, we got a bare 20-25 minutes of half-baked indolence which included a long, woozy electronic rendition of 'Perfect Needle', a couple of other tunes plus lots of moaning about the sound equipment.
I don't think I've ever seen a Telescopes gig where they don't spend a lot of time sulking about technical problems, and it always seems to be somebody else's fault rather than their own. Making the best of a bad job just seems to be too much trouble for them. Possibly if they did more than one gig once every blue moon they might start to put things right.
There are certain gigs where a short set length could be expected - a hungry young band packing all their energy into ten or so fast and furious rock songs for example. But not even their staunchest ally could accuse The Telescopes of exactly exerting themselves during their static knob-twiddling. I'd call their attitude on the night half-arsed but that would be an insult to the entertaining properties of one buttock.
But given the fact that off and on The Telescopes have alternately thrilled and irritated us for some fifteen years, it's a little too late to expect them to change and adopt anything remotely resembling a professional approach to live performances now. As much as they deserve a rocket up their collective arses, they'd probably just carefully remove and tinker with it while expecting the world to entertain themselves in the process.
If only they'd listen I'd offer them the advice to seriously think about their approach to live performances before expecting punters to shell out money for the privelige of watching their petulant pooterings again. Any more shows like last night's and even their closest friends will think twice about returning their calls.
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