Despite appearances to the contrary I'm not quite as sad and as desperate a gossip-hound as to have gone along to Cheryl Tweedy's court appearance last week. Oh OK, I admit it, I just plain forgot about it. Just as well then that some geezer did go and reports in full on the Popjustice messageboard. The beauty, as ever, is in the details - Cheryl now has 'blonde streaks' in her hair and smiled at the correspondent on three separate occasions. A tabloid career surely awaits.

Opinion amongst the Popjustice respondents appears to vary from those totally convinced of her innocence and those that think she's a (ahem) 'pram-faced psycho'. Cheryl's charge has been reduced to racially-aggravated common assault, carrying a maximum sentence of 2 years imprisonment. Common? I'll have you know there's nothing common about wor Cheryl. Don't they know she's a pop star?

And a pop star on the front cover of the May 2003 edition of FHM no less, which I've reproduced to your left following intense demand from Google visitors since publication last week. The cover as ever is the best picture so I haven't bothered uploading the rest, and those airbrush fanatics appear to have been at it again on Sarah Harding's cleavage - did they really have to do that, or was it just for twisted kicks? And if they had to do it, what on earth could they have been trying to cover up?

Continuing on the Girls Aloud (ahem) front, you can download an mp3 of the girls' second single 'No Good Advice' from here via this fansite. The single has an excellent Blondie-lite chorus but I'm not sure it carries quite the kinetic thrill of Sound Of The Underground. This one sounds more like three separate tunes bolted together - which is quite possibly what it is, for all I know. Anyway, judge for yourselves.

Correction Cheryl is due to reappear in court on April 4th (this Friday) not the 11th as previously stated on this page. I expect a full report in from anyone who should happen to be in Staines on that day.