Monday, February 07, 2005

Staff and Nonsense

To be brutally frank (rather than, of course, Dead Kenny) I've been much too busy feeling melancholic about the weekend's lost opportunities while drinking single malt whisky and reading Kafka On The Shore to really be bothered updating the blog. But customer demand being such, I decided to invest in an intern to keep up the linking workload during this potentially extended period of self-exile and rumination.

Things started promisingly enough.

'Hey boss' he shouted me, 'we really need to make mention of Ray Clemence's diagnosis of prostate cancer'.

'Why, that's terrible news' I replied, 'we must express our sincere concern and wish him all the best for a speedy recovery'.

'Well yeah,' he shot back, 'but I was thinking more in terms of reminding everybody he's always been a little vulnerable between his legs'.

At which point I spat out my Jack Daniels, threw the 500pp Murakami in the hapless whelp's direction and packed him off to Popbitch where he truly belongs. Although it did all remind me of an anecdote that Clemence once approached legendary Liverpool FC gaffer Bill Shankly after a goalkeeping gaffe and said 'Sorry about that, boss, I should've kept my legs shut' to which Shanks allegedly replied, 'No son, it was your mother who should've done that'.

So you're stuck with Dead Kenny for a while longer, which of course means The Duke Spirit getting Parallax View Single Of The Week for their latest release Lion Rip in shops from today, available in red vinyl 7"; standard CD with bonus track and a DVD single with a video and a live performance of the title song. Liela Moss & Co. will be supporting Mercury Rev on their UK tour in March. As for PV's SOTW for next week, can Kenny be the very last smartarse to proclaim that listening to Willy Mason exercise his lungs on Oxygen is like a breath of fresh air?

Dead Kenny remaining at the blogging tiller also means, of course, more gratuitous grumblings about the current state of affairs at Championship chumps West Ham although I'm disappointed that West Ham Lass (NOT SAFE FOR WORK) didn't see fit to celebrate the Hammers grabbing a rare 1-0 win over Cardiff at the weekend with what would have been a highly appropriate blue moon. A bad weekend for Bluebirds all round, then?


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