Well, I had an enjoyable evening down at Monmore Green dogtrack on Thursday. Yes yes, I know, it probably is a little cruel on the dogs, and I am indeed an evil person for revelling in it. But the temptation of enjoying the company of some gorgeous women, beer, food and winning some money all at the same time proved irresistible. Sorry!

Except I didn't. Win any money, that is. Although some salvation came in the form of Dotcom Rockie of all beasts. The rest of them were mangy mutts. But if I do have a tip for you, watch out for any dog that dumps a steaming pile of turd just before going in its box and pile your money on it fast. It'll invariably win.