Waitin' For The (Opening) Night

Cross And Bothered

Antichrist, Odeon Telford, Tuesday October 6 2009, 8pm.

Lars Von Trier's Antichrist (2009) is an everyday story of love, death, sex, grief, psychotherapy and genital mutilation. Not exactly obvious material for a date movie, then, and if that night's performance was anything to go by not the sort of movie of any kind for about 90% of moviegoers: several walked out, and there was a lot of sighing, snoring, giggling and tutting throughout. Come the closing credits and a dedication to legendary Russian director Andrei Tarkovsky leads one disgruntled punter to chunter 'he should be shot!'. Which was a bit harsh on a poor fellow who's been dead fifteen years!

The film features a therapist (Willem Dafoe) and a writer (Charlotte Gainsbourg) trying to come to terms with their grief when their young son falls out of a window to his death while they have sex against a washing machine. Defoe's character breaks his own professional beliefs by trying to treat his wife himself, leading to the couple confronting nature and their own natures in a secluded retreat in the woods.

(The trailer below contains contentious themes and simulated sex so is NOT WORK SAFE)



Antichrist isn't a conventional horror film, although its' isolated, claustrophobic atmosphere, and focus on the (mental and physical) violence that men and women do to each other and unto themselves, not to mention the supernatural overtones that envelop the second half of the film, ultimately gives it the feel of being one, even though it's a million miles removed from crass contemporary franchises in the medium.

The film is worth sticking with, despite some scenes which seem to have been deliberately rendered boring, some clumsy exposition here and there and occasionally unconvincing effects. This is mainly because at least it's a film that's actually about something, even if its own conclusions seem muddled and potentially offensive (ie. is it a film about misogyny that ultimately becomes mysogynistic?), and also because it's often beautiful to watch, the performances from Dafoe and Gainsbourg match their director for bravery, and the breathtaking audacity of what unspools leave you genuinely uncertain what Von Trier will come up with next. A film, ultimately, that has to be seen to be believed, even though 9 out of 10 of you hepcats will probably prefer the taste of something else entirely.

Dangerous Curves Ahead

To compensate for the promo for last week's Single Of The Week being pulled by the YouTube user, we offer a bonus video for your perusal and entertainment, a tight, moving little toon to accompany the rather fine 'Hotblack' single from Oceanship. Let's see how long this one stays up...

If It's Tuesday There Must Be A Gratuitous Belgian Link At The End Of The Dump

We meant to go to see LaRoux and The Electrilickers at The Rainbow back in February but it was snowing and we're fairweather fans so point you instead to a review by the hardier and more local Baron.

In other news, we really like the album Embrace by Sleepy Sun, trippy but undeniably powerful stuff, and they'll be playing ATP on May 8.

Elsewhere, Twenty Major takes on the banks with his usual foul-mouthed flair.

Still with time to spare? Try to unravel the in-jokes over at Power To The People! and Awesome Pals. Co-conspirators at the latter site, Los Campesinos!, also have their very own blog where they ask the very reasonable question 'so what do you want to know?'

For fans of Bob Dylan there's an mp3 of the cheerfully-entitled 'Beyond Here Lies Nothin' from his forthcoming album available for free download from the official site. Bob's voice is more cracked than ever but the choon chugs along rather nicely and successfully whets the appetite for the full record.

And finally, we know it's getting harder for music promoters to tempt punters to part with their hard-earned but the organisers of the recent Kraak Music Festival in Belgium appear to have taken a possibly literal and certainly NOT-SAFE-FOR-WORK approach with their invitational poster...

Daft Bricks

The Apprentice often seems like a laboured self-parody in itself (albeit a hugely entertaining one) but this Lego makeover takes it one stage further -



(via walletpop)

Fertile Imagination

Puffball (directed by Nicolas Roeg), available on R2 DVD via Yume Pictures, 120mins.

In Nic Roeg's comeback film Puffball, the seemingly ubiquitous Kelly Reilly plays an ambitious architect who buys a rundown building in a remote Irish valley to transform and renovate. A spot of alfresco rumpty-pumpty later, she falls pregnant, much to the consternation of a neighbouring family who for reasons unknown other than their own belligerence and stupidity feel the unborn child belongs to them. Cue all sorts of nonsense involving dodgy wine, a glowing ball and an impenetrable cameo by Donald Sutherland.

A self-styled 'thriller about love, life, grief and sex', re-uniting director Roeg with star Donald Sutherland, it's not difficult to assume Puffball's backers were hoping for some of the magic of Don't Look Now to rub off on this latest project. While there's enough of Roeg's skills in evidence to just about keep the interest flowing through its' overlong 2hr running time, this latest tale of life, death and architecture, based on a Fay Weldon story, lacks the satisfying structure that made his earlier work such compelling viewing. The result is a vaguely beguiling misfire, mainly of interest to people keen on following the director's career, although to be fair that should include pretty much everybody with a regard for intelligent, handsome cinema.

Gig Review Ketchup - Emote Icons

The Walkmen, Barfly, Birmingham, Wednesday February 18 2009, 9.30pm.
Popfest All-Dayer, The Macbeth, Hoxton Street, London, Saturday February 28 2009 4pm.
Future Islands, The Old Blue Last, Great Eastern Street, London, Sunday March 1 2009, 10pm.

Sometimes a great and memorable gig is all about the peripheral details - the company; the ambience; the chance encounters and the general craic. The Walkmen's gig at Barfly was not like that at all. A nightmare journey (packed train, only seat available saw your puce-faced peacemaker caught in a ruckus between a reeking drunk and two wannabe gangstas), a heaving crowd and under-resourced, apparently under-trained bar staff made for one of our less comfortable gigging experiences for some months. So it's good to report that The Walkmen were in good enough form to make you realise why you bother.

Their fondness for vintage musical equipment is well recorded, but it's Hamilton Leithauser's voice that's the truly distinctive instrument at their disposal. No-one can hold a roared note quite like the grizzled frontman, and the band play with the confidence of knowing their latest record (You&Me) has defied all expectations and proved every bit as essential and revelatory as their earlier triumphs. Hamilton's academical background clearly didn't include local British accents though, as his improvised Brummie micktake sounded like Dick Van Dyke at his most hackneyed. Though we'll concede 'One more song, then we'll skedaddle' was a great closing line.

The lead singer of Baltimore's Future Islands has a similar impassioned angst-ridden drawl as The Walkmen vocalist, but it's allied to a frothy synth-and-bass backdrop to create a surreal vibe like the musical equivalent of 'Twin Peaks'. At the end of a long, great day which included a football match, catching up with friends and attendant beers, maybe it was our tired, emotional state that left us seduced by their woozy late-night ruminations, but later inspection of 'Wave Like Home' reveals gems like 'Beach Foam' and 'Old Friend' would resonate vividly on even the gloomiest of evenings.

The previous day we'd been round the corner celebrating all things bright and shiny-eyed at the Popfest All-Dayer. This allowed us to reacquaint ourselves with Sweden's Liechtenstein, who have trimmed down to a three-piece since last year's Autumn Store gig and delightful singer Renee's gained a blonde rinse and a Mo-dettes t-shirt into the bargain. Electrelane's harmonies are pleasingly grafted to an early 80s bed-sit pop feel to diverting effect, we recommend you buy their new Everything's For Sale ep now and start salivating for the debut album due later this year.

The Scandinavian presence didn't end there, with Action Biker proving the other revelation on the night, a pretty young lady in a beautiful dress cooing conversational melodies to pre-recorded music that would have strong appeal to fans of Saint-Etienne. Suppose it could be glibly dismissed as 'laptop karaoke' but she had the presence and charm, not to mention voice and hooks, to coax something magical and entrancing from the simple set-up.

Elsewhere on the bill The Pete Green Corporate Juggernaut offered barbed topical popcult anthems in the mould of Half Man Half Biscuit; Town Bike delivered a lively but surprisingly melodic set that would appeal to fans of HMHB and Helen Love; The Loves brought a harder, druggier feel to proceedings with some driving rock songs and no popfest is complete without a spirited, entertaining set from the marvellous Smittens. Only Help Stamp Out Loneliness failed to ignite our passions, but this emptiness may have had more to do with our hunger at this point than the band's lacking - with no food on the premises even the most inimitable indiefans need refuelling and as hard as we tried, sustenance by Guinness alone didn't quite see us through to the end of the night.

Savio(ur)

West Ham v Manchester City, Boleyn Ground, Upton Park, London, Sunday March 1st, 12.30pm.

This is your fairweather fan's first foray into Upton Park for a Sunday lunchtime kick-off, a decidedly different atmosphere than normal with most fans getting to the ground at near enough the same time, and near enough all sober, and a snaking queue outside the club shop. A quick pint in the ground, where we spy the team formation on the club TV, with recent loan acquisition (and programme cover star) Radoslav Kovac, bought as a defensive midfielder, playing at the attacking head of a diamond formation in the middle of the park.

Both teams start the game in a relatively comfortable mid-table position after occasionally hazardous campaigns, with perhaps City in better form and spirits after a creditable draw the previous weekend at Anfield, while The Hammers have struggled to convert their good general play into goals since selling Craig Bellamy to today's opponents. These circumstances lead to an open game with West Ham working the ball well in midfield but City looking bright and dangerous when they get the ball in offensive positions.

The first half is a fairly even affair, Bellamy predictably getting a lot of stick on his rapid return to Upton Park following his controversial departure in the transfer window, and £30m+ superstar Robinho earning jeers of 'what a waste of money' with two gilt-edged chances spurned, one foiled by a smart, sharp stop from 'keeper Robert Green, the other comically spooned wide. Most of the concern came from the sad sight of West Ham's right-sided midfielder Valon Behrami stretchered off with what looked like a serious injury, which saw wunderkind Savio brought on for his longest spell in a first-team game since his £5.5m move back in January.

Savio plays on the left-side of midfield with fellow youngster and Welsh international Jack Collison switching flanks. This doesn't seem to interrupt the home side's attacking momentum and if anything the Hammers take a more commanding role in the second half. Two incidents in quick succession seal the direction of the game: Bellamy coming off injured (was lovely to properly wave the little so-and-so goodbye) and Savio, bought by the club as his replacement, forcing a good save from Shay Given which only served to push the ball in Collison's direction who cleverly hoisted it over the keeper's despairing lunge into the open net. Aside from a few dead-ball situations Citeh rarely looked like levelling matters and a welcome three points for Gianfranco Zola's claret-and-blue army sees us rocket up to seventh and today's opponents looking nervously over their shoulders at the relegation dogfight.

All in all a good solid team effort, predictably professional performances from Robert Green and Scotty Parker well complemented by youngsters Collison, Savio and James Tomkins who's looking increasingly assured in central defence and if anything made a more telling contribution than his England international partner Matthew Upson whose distribution was a bit off-key today. Kovac, making his full debut, appears to add height, presence and experience to the midfield mix, which is good news in light of an anticipated lengthy lay-off for the unfortunate Behrami.

Parallax Player Ratings - Green 8; Neill 7, Tomkins 7, Upson 6, Ilunga 7; Collison 7, PARKER 8, Kovac 7, Behrami 6 (Savio 7); Di Michele 6, Cole 7. Jonathan Spector and Walter Lopez came on as late subs but didn't have enough game time to register a fair assessment of their play.

Gonna Do One Thing An' One Thing Only - Kill Nazis!


Inglourious Basterds

Tarantino's Inglourious Basterds (yes, that's really how they're spelling it) collect some Nazi scalps in cinemas from July 2009.

Robert DeNiro's Tailgating

Righteous Kill, Cineworld Broad Street, Birmingham, Sunday October 5 2008, 3.45pm.

Although they've shared screenbilling twice previously (in Godfather Part 2 and Heat) Robert DeNiro and Al Pacino for the first time share considerable amount of actual screentime in Jon Avnet's Righteous Kill. Turns out just as well that the movie has this USP going for it, as much else in the film seems sufficiently second-hand you find yourself looking for the name of Knock-off Nigel on the end credits.

The living screen legends play veteran NYPD detectives buddied up with a younger pair (the perennially under-used John Leguizamo and Donnie Wahlberg) to track down a serial killer. When the evidence starts piling up it seems increasingly likely that one of their number is the perp, the undertow of paranoia and recrimination not helped by an apparent love/lust triangle between DeNiro, Leguizamo and a kinky colleague (Carla Gugino, the unlikely recipient of a partially-seen rear-end pounding from Bobby).

The leads work hard at keeping the tension sufficiently charged to carry the audience through to a seemingly-rushed conclusion, but director Avnet's attempts at flashy direction (quick cuts, wonky camerawork, disorientating time shifts) and the gimmicky casting of Fiddy Cent in a supporting role fails to persuade that this is anything other than a straight-to-DVD plot made entertaining and watchable by the high-wattage star turns from the screen heavyweights.

The Strife Of Reilly

Eden Lake, Odeon Telford, Tuesday September 16 2008, 6.30pm.

A weekend break in the secluded beautyspot Eden Lake for Kelly Reilly's primary school teacher and her buff diver boyfriend (Michael Fassbender) gains nightmarish proportions when they become terrorised by a feral mob of local youths. James Watkins' thriller adopts the classic trick of using familiar horror movie tropes to address contemporary social concerns, in this case anti-social behaviour, knife culture, dangerous dogs and general all-round 'chav' fear.

The result is nasty, brutish and short, but nevertheless, in all senses, a bloody good film. The combo of social realism and intense, hyperdriven violence is an awkward one to pull off, but Watkins manages it superbly through ramping up the suspense and terror an extra level at judicious points. The film is also ably served by a starmaking turn from curvaceous ingenue Reilly, who manages to look magnificent even after being fully dunked in a tank of shit, and makes the audience care enough to carry them through to the heartstopping climax.

Grace Bothers

Savage Grace, Electric Cinema, Birmingham, Saturday July 26 2008, 4.30pm.

CAUTION: CONTAINS MAJOR PLOT SPOILERS.

This is your intrepid inquisitor's first visit to the Electric Cinema since it was re-opened to much blogging hullabuloo a few years back. It's now touted as the oldest operating cinema in the UK, and it is a grand building, although your long-in-the-tooth loafer remembers it rather differently in its' Tivoli guise in the 80s, when it was considered something of a sleazepit where we made furtive forays to see B-movies like James B Harris' Cop and Craig R Baxley's criminally-under-rated Action Jackson. Visiting the cinema now feels a much more welcoming, middle-brow experience, with plush sofas; pretty, friendly box-office staff and a silver spoon to go with your white chocolate and raspberry ice-cream.

Tom Kalin's Savage Grace is the cinematic fare this afternoon, a film that is apparently attempting to re-construct the events leading up to the savage murder of a socialite by her troubled young son in 1972 London. The film is pretty to look at and mostly watchable, contains some strong performances (notably Moore as the doomed diva) but has too many serious flaws to be considered a success. Any film of such relatively short length is going to suffer from the episodic structure imposed on it here, leaving the viewer to struggle to get their teeth into the filletted fare on offer, and as a psychological study it's a non-starter as we're left none the wiser at the end of the film why the son takes the knife to his mother then calmly orders a Chinese.

Wikipedia's references to the real-life case would suggest that the film has played fast-and-loose with many of the facts of the case, something that would have made more sense if it had made the story more interesting not less. As it is, Kalin has made a film that brings to mind past movies like Mommie Dearest; Who's Afraid Of Virginia Woolf?; The Sheltering Sky and Ma Mere, but only serves to highlight their relative superiority to the shallow showboating on offer here. Although any film that reacquaints us with elfin curveball Elena Anaya from Sex and Lucia ain't all bad so gracias for that.

Related link: Moore happy to embarrass kids.

Profile Song

Dublin's impressively bolshy Fight Like Apes take on the prettyboys again with 'Lend Me Your Face', purloining physiognomies in a two-minute riot of colourful, snarling strop-pop. The Parallax View Single Of The Week is out this week, but the face facts are that as there's only 500 copies of 7" yellow vinyl been pressed, the chances are if you get one and bust it up they won't replace it.