Ick. Currently laid low with a really nasty bug. This was not part of my plans at all. Still, there is just time for some updates, including the need to congratulate The Happy Hammers for recording their third successive away victory with a 1-0 win at Fulham thanks to a last-minute penalty from Paolo DiCanio (pictured left from The Sun). Now our relegation fears are easing slightly there's no excuse not to extend this man's contract NOW.

West Ham winning; Arsenal losing: wtf is going on? Patrick Vieira has added to the Gooners' woes by receiving a two-match ban that will rule him out of their derby game against the Tottscum for allegedly calling ref Andy D'Urso a 'fucking wanker with no personality'. Here's Arseblogger's take on Paddy's Bad Day. For a newlywed, he certainly seems to have a lot of time on his hands, don't he?

Almost as much time in fact as the geezer who came up with the wacko theory that White Stripes drummer and all-round indie sex-cymbal Meg White has died in a car crash and been replaced by a robot. Get behind me in the queue to offer lubrication to her moveable parts, then. Link via Large Hearted Boy. And while we're on the subject of alternative babes you may want to take a gander at these galleries of Punk Girls (safe for work?) found via Kill Ugly Radio.

Meanwhile, I'm sure you'd be disappointed in me if I didn't link to the pic of Christina Aguilera's nipple-ring. Not that I'm interested as my inner dumb blonde has been revealed to be Britney Spears.

Finally, an update on a previous story, Darren is working on a new GBlogs recently updated site, for which we are eternally grateful.

And now, back to me Lemsip...