Metaballs

So, Joey's going, then. Given that his contract was up next summer and he'd indicated he wouldn't renew even if we got promoted, realistically the club couldn't refuse any significant offer (£6.6m, in fact) from the Chelski goodfella. A lot of West Ham fans are drawing comparison with the £17m Blackburn held out for Duff but the crucial difference there was Duff didn't want to go and had every intention of renewing his contract. The true comparison is with the paltry £3m Leeds got for Harry Kewell: a player who, for all his feckless faults, is a more proven Premiership performer.

Still, prudent financial sense notwithstanding, this does leave us with a squad threadbare in depth and quality and with the new season just days away. Last November I took some unholy stick from people for my negativism about the Hammers' future and my thoughts we were heading down the same route to oblivion as QPR and Sheff Wed. Tonight, many people are beginning to agree with me. I take no pleasure then in giving my forecast for the upcoming Nationwide Division One season (which I'm giving to you now as I'll be in the land of blondes, beards, meatballs and muppet chefs over the weekend)...

1. Ipswich Town
2. Sheffield United
3. Reading
4. Crystal Palace
5. WBA
6. Nottingham Forest
7. Cardiff City
8. Norwich City
9. Millwall
10. Sunderland
11. Wigan Athletic
12. Walsall
13. Watford
14. West Ham United
15. Preston North End
16. Stoke City
17. Rotherham United
18. Bradford City
19. Derby County
20. Crewe Alexandra
21. Burnley
22. Gillingham
23. Coventry City
24. Wimbledon

Not that you should mistake me for anyone who knows his Nationwide shit, and it promises to be an incredibly open season which should sort out the good managers from the weak-chinned wonders. Next week I'll be casting my Nostredamus-like eyes over the upcoming Premiership season in which Wolves v Spurs last game of the season already looks like a relegation decider or else I'm a Walter Mitty-style fantasist...