I note with interest the news that earlier this week a soccer ref refused to let a match go on until all the shit was cleared off the pitch. That's West Ham's season over with then.

Of course I'm sure everyone realises that my main team has always been local side Telford United, as Jake King's Lilywhite Army stormed to a 7-4 victory at Burton Albion earlier this afternoon. And anyone who says any different is a dirty great conk-nosed liar.